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A response to Painfully here, I hope you can see this.

TO THOSE WHO BLEED INSIDE

I'm here to tell you that I am beyond sad that you lost your uncle. I almost lost my grandma last year and the pain was damaging because it didn't came like a rocket and sweep me off just to drop me from 100,000ft at the speed of a bullet train. It was like a paper cut or a chip of your skin around the edge of your fingernails. It was small but the pain was stretching and it is real. It was a lingering pain. People around you might brush it off or say how they know how it feels but their words wouldn't matter, they can't feel the same emotion you are feeling.

They can grieve but they cannot grieve the way you are grieving.


I'm in no way qualified to answer your questions but I want you to ponder on these.

Why did your uncle decided to go?

Pain. His pain was too much, it wasn't him alone. It was the pain.

But are you really asking him the reason or do you want to ask him why he didn't tell you? Why he didn't left any message or clue? Why he left you hanging? Or why didn't you notice that something was wrong? You know how pain works, my friend.

You are as humane as you can be and your pain is valid; it's not your fault that your uncle succumbed to depression and pain.

How to deal with loss when you are already numb?

People do it differently, they drink, they get high, they sing, they write, and sometimes they just be.

You might be numb but the pain is still there. Embrace it, but don't let it eat you. If you can't beat them, join them.

Give yourself the chance to cry. Visit your uncle. Go to his grave or to your favorite place. Shout at him, tell him how unfair he is for leaving you, for giving you questions that might never have answers, tell him how hurt you are, tell him how pathetic your life is, tell him how fed up you are with all the people around you, tell him how they stick with you but never hear a thing, tell him how painful it is.

You matter.

We might not know each other and we might be from different sides of the Earth but remember that I am rooting for you.

Focus. Set a goal. Help other people. Help yourself.

I'm looking forward to hear from you soon. :)


Comments

  1. this article really made me feel safe my uncle died the same way its still hard to stay away from hat truth

    ReplyDelete

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